Now this doesn’t apply to everyone, but I think it’s fair to say a majority of us live with little nagging voices in our head. Sometimes it’s the ‘second-guesser’. The one who asks, “Shoot, did I turn the oven off? Did I close the garage door? Am I totally sure I did my work correctly?” That voice can nag and nag day in and day out but it’s useful in some ways. Then there’s the ‘self-hater’. This one tells you the nasty little things we all hate to hear, “I can’t wear that, I can’t do this, I’m so stupid, I’ll never get a date with him/her.”
That’s the voice we all wish we could just turn off. It’s the voice we wish we didn’t listen to and yet we do! It helps when loved ones give us pep talks and try to negate the negative voices we admit to. Yet they remain. Yet they persist. But there really is a solution. As silly as it sounds it’s all about positive thinking. Literally drowning out your negative thoughts is the solution. Here’s an example:
Say you’re in the car, on the way to meet someone. You picked out an outfit, you got ready, you got out the door on time, but maybe the negative thoughts have been roiling. You glance in the rear view mirror or the visor mirror as you sit at a stop light. That negative voice pops up, “You’re wearing too much makeup, my nose is so big, my eyes are too small, my hair is so flat or too curly or too dark, my chin is weak.” It’s maddening isn’t it?
Take that moment, even a small moment like that, to fight back. Instead think about how nice the color of your eyes are, you have great skin, your face shape is pleasing, your lips are nice, the tone of your skin is good. Intentionally look for all the little things you like about yourself and mentally say it. “I like my ______, I think my _______ is nice, you know what I’ve got a nice set of _______.”
We really don’t focus on our positives nearly as much as our negatives. We spend so much time wishing we were different in a million ways but fail to rejoice the really good stuff. Changing how your brain thinks is a process and it’s totally doable. You really can change your outlook on life by just inserting some more positive terms into your thoughts. Let yourself sink into the happy and good moments in your life too.
As you stand and watch your kids laugh and play, when your significant other hugs you when you get home, even when you’re just sitting on the couch surrounded by pets and family – actually recognize how lucky you are, how happy you are. Take a mental snapshot and think to yourself, “I’m happy in this moment. I’m content in this moment. I love my life in this moment.” If you practice enough it will start to make a difference on your daily demeanor.
Nothing lasts forever and not every day is perfect but even on the worst day, we can have perfect moments. Try it. See if I’m right. By the way…I love myself in this moment. Made you say it!